Animal Welfare Workers Talk Easily About Pain. Joy? Not So Much.

Quick note about the Take Your MEDs! Workshop on May 20th: 

Last week, the early-bird discount ended, but my co-facilitator, Katya, and I live in the same world as you do, and gas prices are murdering our bank accounts, too. 

So we decided to reduce the price for the workshop permanently. If you’d like to join us on the 20th, the reduced cost will remain available.

Here’s the link to sign up for $35!

Ok, now on to the main event, a new book highlight. If you’ve been reading my newsletter for years (wow, thank you!), you may recall: 

(1) I read a ridiculous amount of books, and 

(2) I occasionally choose a passage to share here. 

In honor of our MEDs workshop, here’s an excerpt from a book I just read - Flying Lead Change by Kelly Wendorf:

“Most people believe that joy is the opposite of despair, that joy is a positive emotion that results in the absence of negative ones. 

Joy is not that. 

Joy is an exquisitely refined state, one that results in opening oneself to the entire spectrum of human experience - positive and negative. 

If you avoid or squash the negative feelings in your life, then joy is the collateral damage. If you numb out grief, you numb joy. If you rush past regret, you bypass joy. 

Joy can best be described through the metaphor of the pigment of black. Black results from an exhaustive combination of a spectrum of colors that, when combined, absorb all light. 

This absorption means that black is also the best emitter of energy, emitting back what it absorbs. Although it appears empty of color, it's actually a combination of all the colors. 

Analogously, joy is the result of an exhaustive combination of a spectrum of emotions - from grief, to despair, to happiness. You then emit powerful energy. This energy is joy.

…But we remain ambivalent, and it's no wonder. We've been literally physically torn between two polarities: we are not taught how to handle discomfort, and we are not allowed pleasure.

…Joy, pleasure, and happiness [are often] the collateral damage of a life lived in service.

…While we can’t make ourselves feel joy, we can create conditions in our lives that make joy more available. 

Often it’s as simple as removing the unnecessary layers that obstruct it - layers we took on because we thought it might be a good idea, or believed they might protect us, or hoped they would make us more successful. These layers are simply unexamined beliefs we inherited.

…Joy is not happiness: it lives outside the polarity of good and bad emotions. Joy is a profoundly existential birthright of being fully embodied, present, and alive.

…This is not spiritual bypassing; it is not donning rose-colored glasses and being happy in spite of the horror. 

No, we are taking in the horror, daring to feel it fully, and then choosing to come fully and passionately alive and shine into the darkness.

…Joy is the great energizer for change.

…When we live from joy, we are honorable and awake leaders who can be trusted to change the world.”

This passage stood out to me because joy freaks people out.

When I ask animal welfare professionals to tell me about the hardest parts of their jobs, they have a LOT to say (like, I have to put a time limit on it). 

But when I ask them what brings them joy or what’s going well for them, the room clams up. They have to stop and think about it. 

Joy is not front of mind. 

Then there’s the fear. 

Brené Brown calls it “foreboding joy” and even describes joy as a “terrifying” emotion because it makes us feel vulnerable.

If we allow ourselves to feel joy, it can feel like we’re tempting fate. Something terrible will happen to take our joy away.  

So we become afraid to feel good or grateful because what if it all goes wrong? What if it doesn’t work out? What if it gets taken away?

I totally get this. 

Being joyful is a more vulnerable state for me than being angry, stressed, or even sad. I feel less in control. More open to disappointment. But it’s worth the risk, because I also feel more alive. 

People think that when I talk about “practicing compassionate badassery,” it’s about being brave enough to handle the tough stuff. 

Yes, and it’s also about having the courage to risk feeling good, feeling everything - including joy.

That’s why we built the MEDs workshop. We can be brave and take a joyful risk together. 

Learn more and join us!